Tag Archives: wife

Modesty, Purity, and Respect

A few weeks ago God really spoke to me about modesty, purity and respect. Arriving at CFNI with little knowledge of the dress code I had many articles of clothing that I thought would be appropriate for Texas weather. I hadn’t thought about whether or not they would be appropriate for mixed gender classes. During the first all-girls orientation the Dean of Women blew my mind with the rules. Now, don’t get me wrong, I respect and agree with them, however it opened my eyes to how desensitized i have become over the years. That’s what threw me for a loop; that I would have to learn how to be modest, and a real modest. My idea of modest was not honoring to myself or men and I had to purify my wardrobe. The dress code is no shorts, only capris if they go to your mid-calf, no back or shoulder revealing shirts (including razor backs), three inch tank top, dresses must be to mid thigh (preferably with tights/leggings underneath), pants must not be too tight, no skinny jeans, no t-shirts with writing (because words are across the chest), and no leggings/jeggings/spandex (in gym or class) worn with only a shirt. For some, these rules might come off crazy. Especially with 100 degree weather. Most of the time we are indoors for classes, lunch, or dorms; air conditioning requires us to dress thick anyways. When i heard the no skinny jean rule and no shorts rule, I almost threw my clothes out. Going through my short shorts (yes, I am so ashamed) I was so upset with myself. I had become blind.

We always hear the verses, “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion (Prov 11:22),” and “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised (Prov 31:30).” You’ve probably heard of the Proverbs 31 woman even. These verses speak about modesty and how the outward appearance can be manipulative or misleading while the true admirable women is she who is discrete and modest. The Message bible calls us foolish for not being respectable, “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful face on an empty head (Prov 11:22).”

Now look at this. A lot of women hate men. In fact, they think guys are disgusting and perverse. The majority of women get irritated and feel disrespected by men who hit on them or stare. Despite your past experience with men, abuse, stereotypical upbringing, or pride, who is really responsible for these acts of lust?

The answer: Men and Women. Both of us. We are both accountable.

Ladies watch what you wear! . You need to respect your brothers in Christ and not even hint at sexual immorality. This is such a serious issue.

Look at what Jesus spoke on adultery and lust:

“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart (Matt 5:28).”

“If anyone causes one of these little ones–those who believe in me–to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea (Matt 18:6).”


This is so serious to Him! We can guard each other’s hearts and protect each other if we just take responsibility for our part and start to dress modestly. You see it in Timothy, “I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes (1 Tim 2:9),” and again in Peter, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.”

How wonderful to know that you are worth more than your body? How beautiful of a God do we serve that He wants us adored for our hearts and not our appearance? You can have this. You can have a man who will respect you and treat you pure and innocent. You attract what you are, how you act, how you dress and where you hang out, though.

So what kind of man or woman do you want to marry?

Are you going to be respectable? “Therefore let us stop passing judgement on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister (Rom 14:13).”

Are you going to meet them at a bar or at a church group? “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matt 6:21).

Are you going to respect your Father, your Creator? “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own (1 Cor 6:19).” Wow. “You are not your own,” Soak on that. You carry something so precious. The Holy Spirit is inside of you.

Take delight in knowing that you are so precious and worth far more than your flesh. You are not a body, but a soul. Let’s respect ourselves and our brothers in Christ by honoring this request from God. You are so loved.

Bless you all.

Bethany Lynn


“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God (1 Cor 10:31).”


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